Losing a loved one is one of the most emotionally wrenching experiences of life. Often people have the strong impression that the feelings of saddness and emptiness will never go away. But time does heal those wounds. Then there are feelings of guilt because you have ceased to feel so terrible - as though your healing is some kind of betrayal of the one you loved and the relationship you had.
It's not. Those feelings - the former and the latter are all perfectly normal.
We are created with deep emotions but also with the mechanism to overcome those emotions once they have served their purpose.
Following are a few "myths" about the pain of loss that may be helpful:
MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore
your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long
run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively
deal with it.
MYTH: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Feeling sad,
frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean
you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by
putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and
MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a
normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t
cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have
other ways of showing it.
MYTH: Grief should last about a year.
Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.
Center for Grief and Healing